nolechica

I've been trying to taper off my Lyrica, but it's not going well. Nearly two weeks in and I had to go back up to the full dose. I've been having a weird possible side effect that won't go away. Tremors in both arms periodically that feel like something between actual tremors and what happens when you shiver. No pain, but way annoying. Not totally sure it's related though, as it may have started before my blood level would've gone down. Giving it through the weekend before going to plan b, as Daddy can't figure it out.

My paper for my MS could be a bigger pain than I though, as the starting paper is about five pages shorter than what I thought I had. Also, not many sources in our library. ILL will be fun unless I find articles, but I need more books as well. Need to search Veteran's Day and Remembrance Day as well before putting in for books. Armistice Day is complicated by the Israeli one from 1948 that has nada to do with the WWI-based holiday. Also, Armistice Day gives me a bunch of end of war books, not holiday stuff. We'll see if any have useful chapters.

Okay, now that I feel human again, I'll explain why typing a thesis is difficult. I tried my best to get everything packed up before I left this morning to go visit Dr. Jones. I wanted to give him one of the Spectator's Guides I had from the Masters. However, his office hours are ungodly early. Who wants to be social/helpful to students at 8:30am? It was worth it though. I miss him badly, should've taken some of his classes as a graduate student, but I digress. So anyway, after my house guest/temporary boarder, Sara's aunt (Melissa) who's staying with me while she finds an apartment here) left at 7:30, I got ready to go for the day. Or so I thought... Turns out that no caffeine and no wireless card makes writing a thesis a little difficult. I got a page and a half written and more read before I came home and crashed. Not being able to write the section I'd planned threw me for a loop plus I didn't have the newspaper articles, though they are few, for the section I was writing. Plus, let's face it, I'm worthless that early. I shouldn't have gotten up except that I was expecting maintenance, and they always feel guilty when they encounter me in my pajamas. I did finally get some decent sleep though. Now, if only I can get American Idol out of my head long enough to write. Might need to bring headphones tomorrow as well.

Last weekend was busy, as Sara and my parents came to town for the Chattanooga game. It was much like the Western Carolina game, with nice offensive output (46-7), but Chattanooga actually got a touchdown. Also, we discovered kicking problems with more missed extra points and field goals. However, the weekend was fun aside from the game. Sara and I took Brooke and her friends clubbing, bad idea as her friends ditched us. Later, we took my parents out to watch the USC game on the Bullwinkle's big screen (as in mounted to the roof big), fun, but kind of awkward. Anyway, the parents brought me a new chest of drawers, which will be filled when I have time and energy to do laundry.

Speaking of energy, reading for my thesis puts me to sleep, literally. This is seriously slowing me down. Add to this the lack of professors available to bounce ideas off of and I have issues. Dr. Gray did approve my advertising history slant, but he thinks I should start writing and see what comes of it, not sure how I can do that without primary sources. :-/ I really need an adviser to actually advise, not just sign off and proofread. Anyway, I've been to the library bunches, not finding much. Have more books to return and another list to check out soon.

I've been doing thesis stuff in between football trip plans. Fell short on cash for a trip to Miami ;-( and logistics for the Colorado game in Jacksonville weren't done before kickoff Saturday. Well, they way we played, I can't justify $80 to see the team next weekend. It turns out that our quarterbacks fold when faced with an actual defense. They threw five interceptions, and the defense did damage control, only allowing four field goals (12-3), but when three of the INTs were in the last half of the fourth quarter, putting the game out of reach, it is disheartening. I honestly have no idea who will start in Jacksonville, and that's not good. I'd hoped we'd turned a corner by getting ranked again, but it turns out the patsies were just lucky choices this year.

I got my first paycheck from Bill's today. Book rush is one more week and then I find out whether I have a permanent job there. It's killing me to have to walk on eggshells. However, my first experience with retail hasn't been horrid, but I have figured out that greeter is not my specialty. I've mostly been working financial aid, with an afternoon of book duty thrown in, not bad being the only girl amongst guys. I'd rather find books than fold shirts. Still not sure I've done enough. Especially in light of the fact that I have to have my introduction and two chapters of my thesis written. Dr. Gray likes my idea, but wants me to historically ground it better. Other than the fact that the answer to the eternal race, class, gender question is race, I'm not sure of much else. I need information on race in schools in the early 1970s, but that's easier said than done. I don't have to write a prospectus, but a proposal of sorts needs to be done in two weeks. Yikes.

Ugh, two seizures in 11½ hours is not cool, especially when I'm not short on meds and my sleep is no crazier than normal. Also, I'd gone over two months without a seizure for the first time this year. *sigh* I really hoping I'm PMSing and they're catemenial, as the first one had no aura and the second was after a dose of Valium 4½ hours prior. I hope I get my schedule for next week soon so that I can get levels drawn and reschedule my neuro appointment. Oh, and this shot any chance of getting desperately needed reading done. Especially with my meeting with Dr. Gray on Friday.

I sent Dr. Gray this: "I've just begun looking at comparisons and haven't for much on Rebel mascots in general, just schools that have dropped them. Also, the timeline only goes back to the early 1970s and I don't have a background on school integration. I'd like to compare Native and Rebel mascots and the responses to the respective minority groups they affected."

And I got back this: "that sounds like it’s getting in the ball park for a thesis. You’ll want to look around for any secondary material on this subject."

That's the first sign I've gotten from him that I might be headed in the right direction.

It's Bastille Day, and every year around this time I wish my French skills were better. I'd love to go to Paris for the holiday. I'd also like to be able to do a Modern Europe, but my reading skills are shit. Perhaps I should go back to my old screen name and start writing in French.

Maybe I should just go barhopping, this whole online dating thing isn't working. I can't afford to pay and the free sites aren't any good. Plentyoffish.com is better than most though. I've actually had some decent conversations. Tonight was fun until he figured out he wasn't getting any...creep. However, other than my pathetic love life, my thesis research is going nowhere fast. Native American imagery doesn't yield much as connected to FSU and history. I'm now looking at high schools, but getting nowhere, unless I can get my Rebels/Indian-themed names comparison to work. The ultimate goal is topic that's workable from Tallahassee for the most part as money for research won't happen. I just wish Dr. Gray was more helpful. *kicks self for ditching Dr. Grant* Modern Europe is looking better by the day.

Not taking thesis hours this summer wasn't my wisest move. As now I have to join Friends of the FSU Libraries to get my checkout privileges back. Not fun to find out after you've already been through the stacks. Anyway, as I was writing the check out for the membership I had to check the date, not good. It's not that it's Friday the 13th that's bad, it's that it's June 13th, which is a date that's not been kind to me. Two consecutive summers at camp were ruined on that date way back when, and then there was that game last night, which definitely ended after midnight. How do these connect? Well the second summer at camp was screwed up by three seizures in one night all because I went to the infirmary after the first one. This was a bad move because it was the only place in camp with a TV and it was Game 6 of the 1997 Finals. While that night was worth watching, the date remains and I'm beginning to wonder if I need to hibernate on June 13th.

My summer vacation is going to be working in Tallahassee, either for pay or on my as-yet-unapproved thesis topic. I need to speak to Dr. Gray about that. I'm working Night Staff periodically and taking the next two weeks off to go to Augusta, New Orleans and Mobile, but then back to Tallahassee. I have two campus job apps that look promising, but I'd really like something in the legal field. As for actual vacation. I'm glad to be going back to New Orleans, will get to spend more time with Em's boyfriend, who I met, but barely talked to with extended family around. Also, I want to go to the Garden District, on a tour, as Dad's a lousy tour guide. More events may evolve, but the trip to New Orleans was just mentioned yesterday. I'm excited for vacation, but am also anxious about only kind of having a job. I'd like to get something worked out before my time at Night Staff is over. Also, a job that would allow for research on my thesis would be good. In short, I have immediate vacation forthcoming, but nothing terribly exciting.