nolechica

I should be reading or writing for one of my two incompletes. Yes, working, football season, and a full load are incompatible in my world. I should have remembered that from taking Methods, but alas I didn't. Anyway, what have I been doing instead of schoolwork? Cruising Amazon wishlists for ideas for Bryan. However, his list gave me an even better idea, a gift for Mom, she who can never come up with gift ideas. So, now I have ideas for everyone except Em, whose list is out of this world expensive, or cheap. One DVD won't work, but I don't have shoes/RayBan money either. And I'm pissed because I finally have enough money to not have to pinch pennies, but nobody wants to tell me what they want. Bryan's list covers three years and 121 items, some of which are out of print. Annoying much? Need to talk Christmas with Sarah, as I don't know how the return of Sean will effect time or cash flow. Anyway, I hope I can solve some of this soon.

Ugh, motivation is lacking when it's most needed. The previously mentioned three papers? Yeah I have one page of the one that was due yesterday done. I asked for an extension on it, but am getting the run around despite explaining the epilepsy to the prof earlier in the semester. Being as I had my third seizure of the semester on Wednesday and have been having auras since Sunday, I actually went to Thagard yesterday. However, after two hours of nothing, but scaring med students and confusing doctors, I remembered what I dislike about student health centers and med students. I'm supposed to be getting an appointment for a neuro consult, but records must be procured first, twenty-three years of them. Back to work though, more later.

It's been a long week. Last Tuesday was my first seizure during a college class, fortunately I was able to get out of the classroom before it generalized. And my Law and Order:SVU obsession insured that I had requested that Tuesday off anyway. However, I was still feeling shitty Wednesday and thus didn't work then, or Friday, but that's because my parents were in town. Work or dinner with parents, hmm, let's think... Anyway, Saturday was the trip to Jacksonville for the Alabama/FSU game, during which we found a new starting QB and our starting wideout redeemed himself, after a few crucial first half drops he scored a touchdown on a 70yd completion. In addition to all this, we won a game that I wasn't sure about...at all, thought Vegas was crazy when I saw us favored. I get to add another shirt to the collection though. Returned to campus on Sunday to a staff meeting and work. However, Monday I almost fell asleep in class due to having to procure football tickets and not getting enough sleep. Still trying to decide what shift to drop, have someone who wants a Wednesday, but I'd rather drop Tuesday or Friday. Decisions, decisions...

While deciding when I wanted to work in the fall, I lost my mind. I decided that working Fridays during football season was a good idea, or a doable one at that. Now that I'm actually scheduled for such craziness, I'm having second thoughts. Add to this that I'm considering a class change (Colonial America for Florida Since 1821) that would cause me to no be able to work the Tuesday I was assigned and I have issues. I already told my supervisor about the possible class change though.

My entire life isn't work, despite my latest entries. I also have school issues, namely a 16-page paper due for Florida Environmental in 3 weeks and only a vague idea of a topic. I need to run it past Dr. Davis and see if he has any ideas for me. I'm just glad we don't have a field trip this week, but the report from last week's trip is due Thursday, hope I can make sense of my notes. This class hasn't been bad, but three hour lectures are long no matter what the topic. I also have thesis stuff to think about and I wish Dr. Gray was available to discuss that as I feel like I haven't accomplished enough on that front. Other than that my topic needs to be expanded, but in what direction, who knows.

Ugh! This is the second night this week that an alarm clock has gone off in the Hall Manager's office, which is locked. Two hours of incessant beeping keeps me awake, but annoys the shit out of me. And according to the RA on call, it's been happening for a while.

As for the rest of my day, had a three-hour class on Florida Environmental History, which will feature field trips later in the semester. Then had to go to the Westside Housing office to fill out my time sheet because if wasn't available at Sunday's meeting. Note to self, walking across campus in flip flops hurts.

I'm not one who cries easily at books or movies. In fact, I can count on one hand the number of both that have made me cry. However, I still have knot in my stomach from watching one of the aforementioned movies. I happened to be flipping through the channels and found A Time To Kill on TBS. It was half over, but that didn't matter. I've read the book and seen the movie, practically have certain scenes memorized. Plus, that was the story that solidified in me the career goal that I've been chasing ever since.

And the last thing I need when I'm two years into a Masters program, with a thesis that seems impossible, is to be reminded that law school was the goal when grad school started. Rather than persuing the PhD that I'm feeling pushed towards now, law school is still the dream. Now, how does that connect with this movie, well my love of research and lack of skill in public speaking led me to think that being Ellen Roark would be where I'd find myself after law school. Not to mention the fact that I'd love to be skilled enough to write and deliver a speech as good as Jake Brigance's closing. Yes, I know it's fiction, but I also know that making the jury understand where your client is coming from is the ultimate goal. Anyway, the last thing I needed at a time when I'm wondering where my academic career was going was this movie, but at the same time, maybe it'll help me refocus as the ultimate goal with this Masters was and still is grades that would get me what my undergraduate grades would not, a place in a respectable law school.

I've realized during my Masters program that I'd only want to teach at a level that requires a PhD and that is would not be for the sake of teaching, but rather research, travel and writing, what I really enjoy. And having had professors who teach for that reason, it's not good to be in their class, especially if they just released a book and are more interested in interviews than lectures. That's my ultimate fear, is that I won't be good enough, as a professor or scholar to merit a job at a Research 1 university, which is the only place I could see myself happy.

New layout, nothing fancy, but time for a change. I feel bad because I haven't gotten nearly as much work done on my thesis as I would like. Talked to a research person at the library last week and got a few leads, but nothing dramatic. I realized I need to get information from University Relations before going to the Alumni office, as I'm to be turned loose with their files and need some sort of guide. I also thought of a few other things to look into, such as the creation of the school logos and the Florida Indian Youth Project and the connection of those to the Seminoles, as the FIYP was started in 1981, but the first Seminole grad wasn't until 1993, puzzling.

Add to this the fact that my parents seem to want me working every day or in Mobile, not gonna happen. I need to ask Donna about the scrapbook for University Relations and go back and look at editing my Methods paper for publication. This way at least I'll be busy and my parents will soon realize that my life is here now. Speaking of which, need to apply for residency this week as well. While I'm enjoying this research, I'm really wondering if there is enough for a thesis. And if I change topics, I might have to change major professors again, not good.

It feels so good to be done. I swear this was the longest semester ever, it so did not feel like sixteen weeks. I really need to judge my workload better next semester when deciding whether to alter my schedule. However, next semester is a similar work load, but football season breaks up the monotony. If only I could get our basketball team to be worth watching, not to be confused with cheering for, I'd have a Spring diversion. However, Summer is when I figure out if I have a valid thesis topic. Here's hoping there's enough info on the FSU/Seminole Tribe of Florida relationship to expand on what I found in my mascot research. I told Sara years ago I wanted Dr. Sellers position as university historian, and I'm hoping this is another step in that direction. Also, I'm hoping to take a shot at editing my Methods paper and taking a shot at publishing it, or at least making it workable for the University Relations scrapbook. I never thought I'd say this, but I'm psyched for summer in Tallahassee. I even looked into stables as I'd love to get back in the saddle now that I have money of my own, as I'd have to pay for lessons and cab fare. And I'll be taking class and working Night Staff again starting in June. Finally, getting paid for my vampiric tendencies, now to find more than two places I can get takeout from after 11pm...

Spring has officially arrived in Tallahassee. My air conditioning is on, it's too hot for pants, and I went and bought new flip flops today. My first pair of Rainbows, I hope they actually fit, rather a crap shoot when one's feet are two different sizes. Add to this my never ending allergies and the President's Ice Cream Social (massive amounts of free ice cream in the Union) and a new season has arrived. However, my workload hasn't lessened and I still have 40+ pages of papers to write and even more to read. In fact, I should be reading now, but social hour is going on in the common area, at 3:04am! Crazy freshmen. Plus, the endless sneezing wouldn't be helped by reading a library book. Ugh, I need allergy medicine.

I haven't had much going on lately, just work and school. Still trying to balance my reading load and get enough sleep. Plus, it's now time for research to begin, bibliography on British slavery due Monday and my bibliography for my research paper on women's suffrage in Britain and the US post-World War I. However, work is only so-so, no shifts thus far this week despite showing up twice. Hoping I get work tomorrow, as it's a new pay cycle. Plus, I'm trying to switch my Monday shift for Sunday, no luck yet. I might drop my Monday shift if I can't trade next week.